How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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