I heard we made out
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He shit in the fireplace
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
