im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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