I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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