So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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