Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
