anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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