You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
3 2 1 whiskey
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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