Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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