I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
