Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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