I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
