Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
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i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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