You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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