honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
