dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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