hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
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