We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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