it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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