I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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