Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
we should paint friendship bongs
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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