Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
