also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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