We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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