hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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