Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Randomize
