Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize