How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
