hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
