You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
