And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
