Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
