We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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