I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Panties = found
Randomize
