dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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