In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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