i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
