I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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