He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
