What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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