Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i will never coherently bang her
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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