Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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