hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I don't deserve a penis
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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