Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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