U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
