im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize