I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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