I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she looked like the before picture.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
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I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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