Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
