Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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