But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
