i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
