Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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