You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
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So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
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Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?