Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?

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  (651): Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women? http://tfl.nu/yufj
  Replies (23) Good night (2425) Bad night (1254)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'

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  (973): my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!' http://tfl.nu/vh00
  Replies (27) Good night (1074) Bad night (3331)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there

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  (813): he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there http://tfl.nu/k2pn
  Replies (14) Good night (6913) Bad night (1162)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school

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  (954): It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school http://tfl.nu/yqnn
  Replies (27) Good night (5310) Bad night (1260)
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  (914): View more from New York

  We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.

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  (914): We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night. http://tfl.nu/ey4f
  Replies (6) Good night (2336) Bad night (1622)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.

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  (609): I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens. http://tfl.nu/uou3
  Replies (8) Good night (2560) Bad night (1401)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.

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  (423): She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21. http://tfl.nu/keb8
  Replies (6) Good night (4423) Bad night (875)
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  (310): View more from California

  My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.

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  (310): My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever. http://tfl.nu/d22o
  Replies (6) Good night (3592) Bad night (658)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  It's a drunk scavenger hunt.

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.

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  (514): It's a drunk scavenger hunt. (514): Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked. http://tfl.nu/mf96
  Replies (2) Good night (1133) Bad night (418)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds

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  (603): Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds http://tfl.nu/tb9r
  Replies (3) Good night (618) Bad night (662)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?

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  (610): How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too? http://tfl.nu/27f3
  Replies (2) Good night (286) Bad night (509)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore

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  (410): Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore http://tfl.nu/vhu2
  Replies (2) Good night (328) Bad night (487)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.

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  (703): I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/y1ce
  Replies (4) Good night (1017) Bad night (364)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.

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  (956): If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so. http://tfl.nu/rl8c
  Replies (1) Good night (281) Bad night (479)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!

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  (586): Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day! http://tfl.nu/49cw
  Replies (4) Good night (460) Bad night (227)

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