Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She's allergic to latex.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room