if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
