Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice