On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
