apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.