i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.