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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.

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• (951): View more from California

  Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?

  (949): View more from California

  Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.

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• 

  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (408): View more from California

  I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!

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• (415): View more from California

  I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED

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