um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?