Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.