I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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