so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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