My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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